Rrrrrrrrrrrr, and so-on and so-forth.

I'm not in a good mood at all. I went to the head-doctor (Dr. Lineer) at the beginning of the week, and she said that I'm an anxious person. ANXIETY DISORDER MUCH? Yeah. I'm depressed, I freak over things too much, I have ADD, I'm bipolar, and I have SURGERY coming up. I'm not a jubilant person at the moment.

Our trip to Houston was cancelled, btw. Thank the Gods. One good thing happened to me on the goddamn 3RD OF JULY. I hate that date. Hate it, hate it, hate it. It reminds me too much of Kai, because we'd watch those stupid "INDEPENDENCE DAY" specials as soon as the fucking things came on. Here, those specials start on the 3rd rather than the 4th. It pisses me off that he isn't here to watch them with me.

Randi called me. Her adoptive brother, Codi, was killed in a car wreck this morning. We were close; close enough for me to care. I just found out about an hour ago, and I just can't stop hating the world. He was sixteen. He'd just got his license. Some retard ran a red light. FUCK, he was driving home from getting his license, and that ass hole smacked into him. He died on impact. I keep getting tears on shit, and that's pissing me off, too. I can't stop crying.

I saw my uncle today, as well. Not the one who died, of course, but the pedophile; the one who molested his own daughters for years. My foster dad hates him. He can't even look the guy in the face, and he had to shake Skip's hand. Skip acts like nothing happened, but something did happen. Still, I don't want to give up on him. I had a friend in a situation like his, and he pulled through. I think Skip can, too.

Shirus told me that her cat died, too, so that bummed be out. I'm bummed enough. I hate it when animals die; especially my friends' animals. I've never met my Shirus in real life, but the sting of her dear feline companion's loss is heavy here, too. We'll all miss her, Shirus.

Randi's not doing too well with losing her half-brother. My friends made me leave. They didn't want me getting too wrapped up in it, too; said I had enough on my plate. I don't like leaving her alone like that. For as long as I've known her, she's been suicidal like me. Her mother, who was also one of my friends, died and now all she has is her dad. She had Codi, too, but no more. The rest of her family...well, they're all dicks like my foster family. So now she has her dad, who is taking it just as poorly as she is. I really don't want her to hurt herself, but Codi was so special to her. Hell, he was special to me, too.

Then I got a call from Caitlynn. Her daughter, Alex, is sick. They haven't found out what's wrong yet. Cait can't lose another baby. She's fourteen; she gave birth to twins at thirteen through an unfortunate mishap. A.k.a. rape. Toni, the oldest and the male, died of SIDs. Alex is her pride and joy; she loves Alex. Her parents disowned her because they was to preserve their goddamn image, so Alex is all she has in the family category. The babies don't have a real father, because the guy's long gone by now we're sure. He was never found. They couldn't get a positive ID or anything. I'm just hoping that Alex will be all right.

Meanwhile, my friend, Alex (not Caitlynn's daughter; my age), is up in Jersey. She'll be staying there for an entire year, and I'm worried mother fucking sick. What if something happens up there and we never learn? What if we never see her again? She's been very close to me since sixth or seventh grade, and she's one of my most trusted and loyal friends. I share everything with her. She's with her boyfriend, so he'll protect her I hope. Still, I'm worried.

I guess you could say that this isn't my day.

EDIT:

And then I pressed the wrong button and requested a print from someone I didn't know. D| I was trying to click 'download' and my hand slipped...goddamn hand. So this person's gunna be like "Wtf? Who the hell is she?" I hate my hand. Hate...it. And what's worse is that it was a picture I would've never requested, because if I did get a print of it, my parents would have a heart-attack over the yaoi. I'm a stupid person. D| So stupid. So, so, so stupid.

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P.S.

Can't change the mood. It should be something more depressing. xD